I wish I could say that I was clever enough to think of the title of this post on my own, but it’s definitely the name of a worship song lol. Maybe this is my venti pumpkin foam cold brew talking but I can feel a fire burning underneath me and I have 4 hours left to sit at my desk at work. I can’t just sit here and simply think about it – I know I have to write it because I know someone reading this needs to hear it.
I think I speak for mostly everyone when I say (for probably the millionth time) that this year has pretty much sucked. I mean, obviously there’s been some good, but I think at this point in the year we’re all just struggling to make it to the finish line without losing our minds. I wish I could say I made it that far but in all honestly, last week was my breaking point. My frustrations and anxiety and lack of direction had been building up within me for so long that when that final straw came, I went into shut down mode. Last week was not a pretty week for me – I’m back on my feet now and I’m doing what I can to cling to any normalcy + hope I can find, but when I tell you I fell down, I fell down low. I only admit that because, one, I’m a transparent person in the first place, but two, because I know everyone can pinpoint a time in their own lives that you knew in your core you felt so physically, emotionally, and mentally heavy that you wondered how in the world you were going to get back on your feet; like the wind had been knocked out of you so hard that you wondered when that next breath of fresh air was going to finally hit your lungs.
My life hasn’t gone back to normal or “perfect” since last week by any means (anyway, I don’t think the perfect life even exists). I still have to figure out how to move forward not knowing entirely what the future holds. The difference between last week and this week, though, is that I’m finding the strength to praise through the unknown; to praise through the growing pains; to praise before the breakthough has actually shown up at my front door.
I’m not saying it’s easy, either. I’m constantly struggling with knowing whether I’m actually hearing God speak truth and hope over my life + circumstances or if it’s a classic case of selective hearing. Either way, I really have no way of knowing exactly what my future holds or when I’ll see the fruit + purpose for the season He has me in – but if there’s anything I’ve learned, is that I have to praise anyway. I’ve prayed my way through pain and fear and uncertainty – it doesn’t make it disappear, but it reminds me that there is hope and joy to be found during and after the storm.
I’m writing this while I’m having a positive, upbeat day because knowing me my mood could shift at any given moment so this is honestly just as much for me as it is for anyone else reading this. While I feel like I’m surrounded by so much uncertainty and anxiety of what is (or isn’t) going to come, I can feel God’s promises and vision bubbling up inside of me and I’m just so in overwhelmed at how beautiful of a life God can create from what feels like nothing but ashes. That when then Enemy tries to drag us down as low as he possibly can – and even makes us feel like he’s succeeding – that God can use what the Enemy meant for evil and turn it into something good and so, so beautiful.
I wanted to write this today because I think this is something I want to manifest in my own life and in everyone who comes across this post: do not let this year take you out. There are less than 3 months left to this year, and I know we all went into it thinking it was going to be the most amazing year yet and we ended up with the complete opposite – but if there’s anything I can say to encourage you today is that sometimes we have to hit rock bottom in order to stand up for ourselves and say enough is enough. Stop waiting for the new year, because the truth is, 2021 is going to have growing pains of its own. Do what you can today and with the rest of this year to bring your vision and dreams to life. Praise before the breakthrough + the answer is even in sight and you’ll see just how God can bring light to the darkest of places and life to the driest of bones. He will always be made strong in our weakness, and His highs will always triumph over the Enemy’s lows.