embracing the season you’re in | relationship edition

Photo: Jess Morales | We The Romantics

Life comes with a lot of seasons, and with Valentine’s Day being this Friday, I know a lot of us are either dreading it or can’t wait to celebrate (mostly based off our current relationship status). Of course, I titled this Embracing the Season You’re In, so I hope to include pieces that everyone can pull from regardless of which relationship season you’re in. However, I have to admit that I’ll mostly be talking to my single readers today because right now – in this season – I can relate.

Related: 3 Lessons I Learned While Being Single | The Distortion of Love

I’ve come to terms with my current status because I know it’s where God needs me to be right now, but as a 25-year-old girl, I’m not gonna lie to yall – there’s a part of me that feels frustrated because I really thought I’d have my love life a little bit more sorted out by now. I’ve really been trying to dive deep into this season and understand what God needs from me to make the most of this time, because I know the last thing I need to do is focus on where I think I should be instead of trying to focus on what God needs me to do where I am. We really miss so much life that way.

But I also know how challenging it can be when you feel like everyone around you seems to have it “figured out” and you’re left thinking you’re behind. I used to be really affected whenever I’d see another engagement or baby announcement on social media and think it was so unfair. But this mindset had me rushing life along that I ended up in painful, heartbreaking situations and wishing away the valuable time I had been gifted to get to know and discover the most important person in my life – me.

In one of the sermons I linked down below, Pastor Ben Stuart said something really powerful about the concept of missing out on a lot of life when we put most of our focus on where we’re not:

“We tend to amplify the benefits of some other stage and downplay its limitations, and we amplify the limitations of our stage and downplay its benefits… the enemy does that.”

I think my perception of my singleness shifted when I realized it was time I needed to be able to grow closer to God and truly understand where He’s leading me in this life. I have no problems with relationships, but even some of the really amazing ones I’ve been in took the time to find a deep understanding of what the Lord is calling me to do and the freedom to be able to execute it. It never feels great to see a good thing come to an end, but I’ve realized that I’d rather be single than be in a relationship that I know is in some way, shape, or form hindering my obligations and dedication to the Lord and my part to play in the advancement of His kingdom. Sometimes, timing is everything, and I know that God has really tried to instill in me that right now, I need to embrace the benefits of singleness.

Now, I’ve also found out the hard way that epiphanies like this can’t always be spoken into you from an outside source. It really is something that has to click within you and your soul to be at a place of peace with it. So, I realize I can’t possibly say all the things you might need to hear to make it click, but I hope that something I’m saying here today eases your spirit if it’s feeling discouraged in light of Valentine’s Day, or anytime, really.

“Singleness is not about just waiting for marriage… that singleness is to be leveraged for undistracted devotion to the Lord.”

There’s a deeper purpose for your current season, regardless of what that is. But, if it’s singleness, the purpose is far more than simply waiting and biding your time until you meet “the one.” You haven’t been left hanging – you have been given a gift of time and freedom to explore your God-given destiny and purpose and it is a beautiful time, even if it feels frustrating and hard to swallow at times.

I linked some sermons down below that have really helped me with my perspective on singleness + relationships and embracing the joys and lessons of each season.

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