Okay, so the title feels a little harsh with it being the first thing you’re seeing and all, but you read me right – your opinion of me is none of my business. Furthermore, someone else’s opinion of you is none of your business. And yes, if you’re thinking that sentiment sounds familiar, you would be correct because I definitely spend a lot of my days reciting Rachel Hollis quotes to myself like there’s no tomorrow. Sometimes we all need a dose of blunt wisdom. Be warned, this post is pretty much an ode to Rachel Hollis quotes.
I was trying to find something a little deeper to write about and I felt like I couldn’t shake the quote out of my brain: someone else’s opinion of you is none of your business. It’s one you might have to repeat to yourself a few times before you actually start to internalize it. We tend to thrive off acceptance and knowing we’re liked – I can’t tell you a time where I thought, “wow, I really wish so-n-so would dislike me.”
Especially when it comes to my anxiety (emphasis because I’ve known plenty of people with anxiety that doesn’t stem from much social + interpersonal stress) I know that I put so much merit into what others perceive of me – to the point that was really bad about skipping out on things I was interested in because I was nervous about who wouldn’t take me seriously, who thought I wouldn’t succeed, who thought I didn’t have the right personality to do x, y, z things, etc.
First of all, are those thoughts even really being thought? Honestly I have no clue. Not everyone will speak their doubts aloud. But some will. Some will voice their opinions of you and/or what you’re trying to do with your life. I think there are times they mean well – they do it from a place where they feel like they’re looking out for you, but it usually ends up coming across to us as disapproval, and overall, discouragement.
Here’s what I’m trying to get at – you need to chase what you want in your life without letting opinions of others hinder you. And that means saying “to heck!!!” when people try and speak out against your vision for your life. I’ve been making my way through the book Visioneering by Andy Stanley and one of the many excellent points he makes is that your God-given vision is not going to come without opposition. The enemy doesn’t want to see you follow through with what you know God has called you to do, and sometimes what he uses to sway you are the people in your life that say, “but are you sure that’s what you want to do?” “can you really make a living with that?” “don’t you think it’d be better to do (fill in the blank) or go to (fill in the blank).” Normally the people we hear this from are the ones we deeply care about, and we know care about us. That’s why it sucks and makes it so incredibly hard when we hear them.
I know all about “unconventional” visions. I have always wanted to be a stay-at-home mom (ya know, whenever that day comes) but I don’t want to not make an income and help contribute towards expenses. But I’ve known for a while that 9-5’s aren’t my thing and aren’t my forever plan. Then I found Arbonne. Yes, I joined a network marketing company and that always seems to be the first thing people give you the side-eye for doing – I would know, I used to do it before I was a part of one. But when I found Arbonne, it just made sense. The further I progress in my business, the more I feel like my distant dreams have become attainable goals – but whether people can see it for themselves or not, Arbonne is going to be the only way I can get there.
This isn’t a promo for Arbonne, I promise lol although it has played a significant role in my life. But I couldn’t progress through my business until I grasped one simple yet challenging concept: other people’s opinions of me are none of my business. Strangers, friends, or family alike – I had to essentially tell myself “I love them to pieces, but their opinion of me or what I’m doing isn’t going to paying off my student loans. Their opinion isn’t putting money in my savings account. Their opinion isn’t positioning me to run towards what I know God has called me to do.” As much as I know that they care for me, their opinions are none of my business.
I’m sure I don’t convey this point nearly as well as Rachel Hollis, but it was one of those things I wanted to reiterate and share in my own words. We were all made with different visions in mind for our lives – if we all had the exact same dream, we’d have so many jobs that would never get done. Furthermore, we can’t all be content with living in fear of each other’s opinions because if we did, nothing would ever get done.
I know I’m called to health + wellness, and that (for me) means selling health + wellness products through a multi-level marketing company. It means becoming a fitness instructor, a yoga instructor, and a wellness coach and utilizing the skills God gave me to reach others and help them achieve a life where their health doesn’t have to hold them back.
For you it might be becoming a doctor, a researcher, a teacher, a youth pastor, a musician, an artist, a graphic designer, a blogger, a YouTuber, an engineer – you know what God has laid on your heart and why, and it’s okay to let that be enough. Valuing other’s opinion of you over your own, over God’s opinion of you, will do nothing but keep you small and hold you back from everything you know you were designed to do.
I hope that today you find a moment of fear to be bold. I hope you find the strength to stand up to the things that intimidate you. I hope you can see the lies for what they are and call their bluff. Don’t let other’s opinions that stem from the fear of chasing their own goals keep you small – with big vision comes big opposition, and God made you to do amazing things.