Dreams can be intimidating. It sounds funny to say but sometimes we can picture something that feels so big – so beyond us – that we leave ourselves thinking, “that would be nice, but there’s no way that’s going to happen.” But often times it’s in the ideas that scare us that we find our successes; but it’s also where we can find an immense amount of discouragement, whether it’s from people around us or in our minds.
If you watched the Super Bowl, more specifically the commercials, you know I didn’t come up with the name of this post on my own – but it really stood out to me. Mostly because I’ve been trying to figure out exactly what I was wanting to convey for this post, and after attending a church service, I think I’ve finally found the words I’ve been looking for lol
I’ve always considered myself to be a bit of a daydreamer. I’ve always been very quick to think “maybe I’ll pursue this,” “maybe I’ll try that,” and what not. It’s always been very easy to get lost in my mind and deep into the thoughts of what life would be like if I were to do this or that, if x, y, or z were to happen.
As a kid, I always dreamt of the typical ideas of becoming famous – acting, singing, you name it. Did that happen? Definitely not (however, it’s never too late, but as of now at 23-years-old, I’m perfectly fine living my lowkey life). But I certainly had the most active imagination when it came to picturing what my life would look like if I had pursued those careers.
In college I looked into pursuing a master’s degree/career in intercollegiate athletics and pictured what it would be like to find a position with my favorite college football team. But when I really thought about it, I realized the athletics world isn’t always very compatible with the family goals I have for myself.
I contemplated trying out YouTube – with it being all the rage these days, I thought it’d be cool to create videos that people look forward to each week, create different content, show off some skills… but then I remembered just how painfully awkward I am verbally – especially in front of the camera – how I don’t have the equipment I need, and I wasn’t entirely confident in my ability to come up with new, unique content on a regular basis.
But then I came across blogging.
I’ve always had a bit of a thing for going on rants (or wanting to go on rants) online because there are times I genuinely feel like I have so much to say about certain topics. But I really didn’t want to be known as “that girl that writes paragraphs for statuses.” And if you read my post The Heart Behind “The Southern Sooner,” you’re familiar with the fact that this blog started as just a simple hobby + outlet for discussing health-related topics. My passion has always been to be in a position to help others with their quality of life, and I figured a blog had more reach.
During a particularly hard time of my life, I rewrote a post outlining what it’s like to have anxiety – I did it mostly for therapeutic reasons, but also to raise awareness. I had shared posts before without getting much of a response, but when I shared this post for the second time, the response skyrocketed. It was in those following days I kind of thought, “dang, maybe I’m more cut out for blogging than I thought.”
I really felt like God’s hand was over the decision to start blogging. I have always felt very awkward in person – my anxiety started to display itself in my speech in college in the form of stuttering + constantly losing my train of thought. I’ve been told by former professors that my communication skills during presentations were effective, but I have always felt very self-conscious of my communication skills in normal conversations (thus reiterating my decision to not do YouTube, at least at the moment). So in that moment when I decided to take up blogging for real, it made so much sense.
When it comes to the help I receive, my best friend since high school is a graphic designer and loves being able to help with little projects. And then all last summer/fall, I kept thinking “man, it’d be so convenient if I had a friend that loved photography so getting pictures for the blog didn’t feel so hard” (since at the time I was having to drag friends around with me to make them get pictures on my phone, which I truly felt bad about lol). Then, in about October/November, Kayla and I met, clicked, and she offered to help with the photography for the blog, #blessed. So basically, everything came together so amazingly. It’s wild.
But then the doubt came, as it usually does – especially with the things we feel like the Lord is calling us to do. The Enemy certainly tries to tell me “you’re too annoying to be a blogger,” “you’re not creative enough,” “you’re not interesting enough,” yada yada, dumb stuff like that – even when I can physically see the progress the blog is making. With each new month so far I receive more views + visitors than the month before (and last month I made a record jump from 518 views in December to 902 views in January!) I’ve started getting collaboration opportunities – some that I initiated, some initiated by the companies themselves (a first!). And it’s right when I start to feel so encouraged + overwhelmed by where God has brought the blog, the Enemy swoops in and tries to make me feel inadequate in something; last month it was feeling discouraged about growing my Instagram and “how can I expect to be successful if I can’t get past 800 followers?” Which, by the way, after I started feeling bummed about that, it’s grown by about 40 followers in the past month (still not a ton, but it goes to show that God has so much more power than the Enemy, especially when it’s regarding His calling for us).
I initially titled this post “Don’t Quit Your Daydream.” Blogging might not seem like a super huge risk, and I really don’t get a lot of people trying to tell me I can’t do it. But it certainly is a job that takes a lot of effort if you want to see it succeed, so it takes a lot of being able to muscle past self-inflicted + devil-inflicted doubt. If I had given up because I was too willing to cave to the doubts I felt, I never would have seen just how far the blog has come in 6 months – and let me tell you, it’s a lot more successful than I thought it would be at this point.
I don’t say all this for it to be like, “look at me, I’m doing great!!!!” because I’m just scratching the surface; I simply feel strongly about the power of testimony + believe we have become so scared of failure that we’re so quick to listen to the doubts and the voices that try to say it’s not worth it + it’s not possible. However, I think it’s so important to know that if something is truly a calling for your life, even if it seems impossible, it is totally possible if it’s something you’re willing to fight for. Often times there will be bumps along the way that are meant to be perceived as failures to hold you down and keep you from your calling, but it’s in the so-called “failures” and standing back up from them that will bring you to what could be the biggest success(es) of your life.
I want to leave y’all with this verse, which was also brought to my attention during the church service I attended this past Sunday, and it’s such a good one to remember!
“NOW ALL GLORY TO GOD, WHO IS ABLE, THROUGH HIS MIGHTY POWER AT WORK WITHIN US, TO ACCOMPLISH INFINITELY MORE THAN WHAT WE MIGHT ASK OR THINK.”
– E P H E S I A N S 3 : 2 0 –
With all that being said, sometimes it does become clear to us that certain pursuits aren’t as fitting as we initially thought – and that’s okay. Sometimes it’s the steps we take towards other dreams that are what ultimately push us to where we need to be – and I fully believe that we know what that is once we stumble across it.
So, after that big long post (bless you if you’re still reading), do what you can’t. Do what seems impossible, because God is so capable of making the impossible, possible.